WOMEN AND MONEY

As mentioned in an earlier post, men’s relationship with the ‘dough’ is particular: it’s linked to our self-worth, our self-esteem, what determines whether we walk with our heads high, back erected, feeling powerful towards the other gender, or not.

Women, however, seem to be much different. In many working environments I’ve been in, women were very open about their financial situation, even when it was bad. They complained about how they thought they’d have a bigger paycheck, they’d talk about how they have a hard time paying the bills, how they couldn’t afford this or that. Women talk about money as they would talk about make-up, or close to it. And I admire that. Their ego, or self-worth, isn’t linked directly to their bank accounts.

Do most women, however, link a man’s worth as a potential partner to his bank account? Is this the reason so many men go to incredible lengths to maintain their image of wealth and power?

Women I’ve dated mentioned how most of their friends are looking for wealthy guys, although they never say it to the man in question. Do men feel this subconsciously? We do. And by the way, women, this is one of our deepest fear: Would she date me if I didn’t have my wealth? Would she date me if I didn’t have this title, job, house, or fame?

Men are hung up with money; women are hung up with beauty. I think one question lurks in the depth of women’s soul: Will he love me if I’m no longer attractive? Will he love me for me? Not for what I represent?

With television and ‘celebritism’ part of our culture, I can tell you one thing: beauty, fame, and money doesn’t change who a person is (it only magnifies a person’s true behavior). I’ve been around people with ‘high social status’ and many of them are more insecure than the ones who are not famous. What happens if I lose this deal? What happens if my album or movie doesn’t do well? Who am I without the image of money and fame I created? It’s like a drug addiction. It’s easy to confuse the idea and the nature of someone. The idea of wealth is attractive. For the guy who owns it, however, it doesn’t change who he is, it’s everyone around him who believes that it does. The same with beauty…right ladies?

No matter how much women’s rights have evolved, I believe one fundamental truth remains: Men are providers and it’s noble to have a man pay for expenses…yeah even for those of you who say you’re independent, strong, and that you don’t “need” a man.

As much as a wealthy man is attractive, a wealthy women doesn’t have the same appeal to her opposite sex. In fact, chances are she will have fewer opportunities. Unfair? I think so.

Bottom line, we all want to be loved for who we are, not just for our money or beauty. Underneath the masks we wear during the day, under our carapace, we are all children longing for unconditional love.

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frederic Byé