Hey guys! Thanks for anyone who listened to the show about Islam this week. It was one of the most listened episode for THE BOOK GEEK SHOW!
I browsed through the books in my library and stumbled upon a non-fiction book I read ten years ago. A time when I was pissed off, lost (I must admit), on the world of dating! In fact, I believed I knew nothing about relationships and women, and I wanted to learn more. Back then, I was living in Louisville, Kentucky, USA, and I strolled into a local used book library looking for tips on dating. I must admit, as a young man I didn't want anyone to know that I was looking for this type of information. Our egos sometimes work in odd ways.
Anyway, I picked up this book from the shelf and started reading. After a few minutes of sitting comfortably, a couple walked by me and the man, for some reason, asked me what I was reading. No stranger had ever spoken to me when I went to this library, except on this day...of course. I remember flushing like there was no tomorrow, sinking in my chair. My skin is a mix of half white and half black, but I'm sure my cheeks turned bright red in a matter of seconds. I knew because beads of sweat suddenly popped on my forehead. After expressing a shy smile, I showed them the book, and they (the couple) both grinned with a glimmer in their eye. Maybe they thought how cute it was to see how shy I was.
Nonetheless, I brought the book home and finished it in no time. I loved it. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it! Basically, the book goes through the process of dating: what goes in our minds, the will to impress the other person -even if you're not entirely telling the truth-, and it addresses the emotional pain we haven't dealt with.
Most importantly, it talks about going through the process without losing our authenticity. Susan Campbell did an amazing job at writing this book, and I am sure it helped countless people around the world.
The most useful lesson I got from the book is the importance to stay 'in our bodies,' in other words, the importance to remain present. Also, to detach from the outcome; is she/he going to say yes or no? How many of us are stuck with the unbearable fear of rejection? This book will help you, guaranteed. And for the first time you might enjoy going to dates, instead of dreading them.
"When you make it your intent to simply be present, fears about the outcome disappears." Susan wrote on page 77.
Another thing that I got out of her advice was that dating, in reality, is just a game. Play! Play! Play! Become a child again. There's nothing really serious about it. Are you attached to the outcome when you're playing? No. The same goes here. Try it. You might be surprised at the results.
Anyone (couples and singles) who is looking for a mature approach to not only dating, but also long-term relationships, should read this book. Dating is so hard nowadays, and stressful, that we need a realistic approach to it. With countless single people, this book can really help everyone of us to a better relationship life.
With Purpose, Passion, and Love,
Frédéric Byé
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