She is a mother, daughter, spouse, and entrepreneur. Born in the Province of Quebec, she lives on the South Shore of Montreal, Canada. Her story is tragic and inspiring. As her career as a nurse took off, her life turned upside down: Her husband was shot dead.
With two children to take care of, she had to dust herself off and move on with her life, facing every emotion known to men: anger, fear, confusion…
You will be amazed by her story, and hopefully you will learn the lessons she learned. Her story is the story of every one of us: a regular person, with a regular job, whose idea of success was ingrained in her since childhood, and she was successful at it.
Overnight, everything she believed in vanished, suddenly she had to learn a new way of life.
Meet Anick, a friend, a colleague, a warrior.
Part 3
Did you go back to work?
I did but I felt judged by my peers. It had to do with a post traumatic syndrome because I learned the news of my husband's death at this same place.
I left after around 6 months.
So you had no job again.
No. I had no plans, I was single, and all I did was take care of the children. I met with the psychologist, I read, I did a bit of meditation. What liberated me was sport. I ran a lot and took dancing courses, it allowed me to meet new people since I was home all day.
What happened next?
In 2005, the reconstructive period started. I volunteered then worked at my children’s school for a few years. In 2009, I worked for a nonprofit organization that did research for sclerosis. I also gave speeches. I was invited to conferences about the mourning of children after a parent died. I did a lot of sporadic stuff. I needed to feel I had professional success outside of the home.
I attended workshops on personal growth and I enrolled at the Dream School in Montreal. I studied everything about my dreams.
Is there anything in particular that came out of this experience?
It's funny because I learned about career orientation through dreams. I dreamed about the same thing every night: I was in an empty cube. When the opportunity to become a financial advisor came, I was assigned a cubicle and I thought about my recurrent dream. It made me smirk but at the same time it worried me; I had a bad feeling about this place.
You did the dream analysis course while you were working at the nonprofit organization for sclerosis?
Yes. Then in 2011 they cut a lot of people and I was one of them. After I was let go I took 2011 and 2012 off. Again, I had zero plans. I lost a lot of weight, I trained, I read a lot of books, including Catherine Ponder's The Dynamic Laws Of Prosperity, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
In the later part of 2012 I became officially a financial advisor. Though I had a bad feeling due to the recurrent dream, I was attracted to the superficial side of this industry. I bought new clothes, new shoes, new jewelry, and I thought I would make a lot of money.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be bittersweet.
Can you elaborate?
I discovered the pervert side to positive thinking, the law of attraction, abundance, etc…
When you hang out with positive people, when you repeat affirmations every single day, and things don't happen, you lose sight of what you have in the present moment. I thought if I visualized my countryside home and wealth, they would come to me.
Once I became a financial advisor, economic stress took a hold of me and I questioned why I came into this field, I thought I was going to make a lot of money, I thought I was going to achieve new things, I thought I had clear goals, and nothing came of it. I was thoroughly disappointed. That's when I realized that I needed to make realistic affirmations and not just positive affirmations.
Interesting. What’s the difference?
Positive affirmations oftentimes lead to tension, as opposed to realistic affirmations. For example, “Abundance come to me, come like an avalanche,” versus, "I'm getting better and better every day.”
Which one feels better? In the latter there’s less stress, less anxiety attached to it.
So realistic affirmations are geared toward well-being instead of superficial, materialistic goals?
Yes, I put aside material wants and needs, and focused more on my personal happiness.
Do you feel the law of attraction and this idea that we can attract anything we want became shallow, as if it became a trend?
This is the thing, it's no longer about inner work, or a personal growth tool, it is, like you said, all about material things.
When I became a financial advisor, I kept thinking I would make more money. It was no longer a spiritual thing.
How do you interpret this career move? To you, was it a failure or was it part of your personal growth?
I felt I hadn’t made it. I was disillusioned about affirmations and meditations. But I was also aware it was an experience I needed to learn from. It's a combination.
Were you still single at the time?
No. I met Pierre in 2005, a little over two years after the event happened. He helped me get my finances back in order.
That's a great sign of courage because many would have avoided getting into another relationship. You seem to understand yourself way better now.
Yes. As a financial advisor I discovered my strengths. I love to create mini projects; I don't like to manage them, but I love to create them.
What's next?
I am excited about the future. I know I can turn the events of my husband dying into helping others. I am planning on writing a book about my story and I already have an offer from an editor. The good thing about it all is I am able to look back with way more objectivity than a few years ago. I have two beautiful children, they are healthy, they do well in school, and to me this is an accomplishment. The other thing I am doing is I am working on opening a decoration store in a few months.
I am not where I want to be, I have to be honest. I would like to say I have this successful career but I am working on it. Life goes on.
To finish, through all of this, what is the most important lesson you have learned?
You don't need 18 pairs of shoes. Don't clutter yourself with material things or debt. Live simply. Do what makes you happy, run your own race, respect yourself, stay true to your values. If you feel disrespected, leave. If you want to say no, say no. Stop being kind and be true to yourself. Eat simple. Do not bury your head in the sand; take care of your finances or whatever you’re struggling with, now.
Simplify your life.
- Anick
You can reach Anick: https://www.facebook.com/anick.royer?fref=ts
With Purpose, Passion, and Love,
Frederic Bye
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