SEX AND SPIRITUALITY

Sex fascinates us. It’s often forbidden, controversial, most of us have a strong opinion about it, and we all want it, whether we admit it or not.

North American people are not bothered by the idea of chastity, or abstinence, before marriage. In fact, many of us even never thought about it. As written in Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man, we no longer have to walk two miles to reach our neighbor’s door and marry his daughter, the only woman around. Today’s world is a little more complex. As soon as our foot hit the pavement, we are exposed, tempted. Most everything women wear that’s considered ‘beautiful’ is in fact related to many degrees to sex. 

I grew up in the Quebec and Montreal area in Canada. In these regions of the world, the idea of abstinence is considered archaic, passé, outdated, and I sure am unfamiliar with those rules. I officially lost my virginity at sixteen, my girlfriend at the time believed me when I told her, "don’t worry, just follow me, I got this, I did it before." Looking back, I was the virgin, she wasn’t.

When I got introduced to Christianity, and other types of spiritual beliefs, it was the first time I had heard about "no sex before marriage." It was also the first time I was around people who actually claimed to practice it, even here, in North America of all places.

To me, sex and spirituality are one and the same. A great sexual experience is a great spiritual experience.  It is my observation that for many of us sex is like money, everyone wants it but few admit to desire it. In the world of business, or even life in general, how many people walking the street look wealthy but are deep in debt? How many of us look hot and sexy, but have no fulfilled sex life? The quote, "believe half of what you see and none of what you hear," applies not only to business but life in general, I think.

Why, like money, don’t we teach sex to our kids in schools, even in 2015 (Instead of letting the porn industry do the job for us)? Deep in our consciousness, do we still hold ancient beliefs instilled by religious institutions that sex is dirty?  That we shouldn’t masturbate (especially for women?)

It  is my understanding that many surgeons claim women from different parts of the world sew their private parts to look virgin for their future husbands. Why such shame or fear? And where does sex and spirituality fit together?

Of course, if we base our opinion on what we see in porn, it is NOT spiritual at all, it isn’t even real sex. It’s more like a commercial showing a nice, performing car going at 80 miles an hour on the mountain roads under the cloudless, sunny sky. Even some porn stars admitted they feel ashamed, or guilty, for portraying sex this way, especially when they hear that teens get their education from it. Unlike billions of us who watch porn on a regular basis, those who understand the ‘behind the scenes’ realize that Santa really doesn’t exist.

How can we educate ourselves to combine sex and spirituality with sanity? From my experience, men need to understand women’s body (and psychology), and vice-versa. In my view, sex and spirituality are one and the same, and they come from the same source: Love.

        Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. The suppression of sexual energy is false, ugly, and unchaste.

                                                  -Deepak Chopra

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frédéric Byé