I’M MARRIED…WHAT??? PART 2

Over five years ago, before I met the woman I married last Saturday, I stumbled upon a poem in the book <<The Seeker's Guide>> by Elizabeth Lesser. To this day, this is my favorite poem.  I thought it perfectly summarized what I wanted in a woman:

"It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."

I found that woman.

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frédéric Byé

EP4: How Cooking And Traveling Changed My World With Economist Linda L.

Today Fred chats with economist, cook, and traveler, Linda L. They talk about the impact her passion for cooking and traveling has on her personal growth. They go into details about her conservative background in Guadeloupe to her career shift from economist to cook. Linda will also share her views on the importance to live life according to our own terms and desires.

I'm Married...What???

I got married last Saturday. I was never into marriage; to my generation marriage doesn't mean anything anymore. Why? We witnessed our parents lie, cheat, and steal as they were married. The ring around our finger doesn't change much about one's personality, except that it looks good and shiny. The vows, the promises, everything marriage represented to our parents...come on, they no longer exist. How can they? We are in a society where we want everything quick, easy, and with no effort. Why bother to maintain a relationship when it's so easy to simply find another partner?

The truth and the matter is, I found out that if I wanted my dreams to come true I needed a mature, sane, constructive, and consistent relationship. It was not a 'maybe,' it was a 'must.' Then, with God's grace, I met J. We built our relationship and went through many difficulties in the last five years. When time for the wedding came, I felt confident about our decision; I felt safe and I trusted her. But then again, at that point, if she would have told me she changed her mind and didn’t want to get married, I would have been fine with it. It just was not that important to me.

Long story short, we tied the knot in a quick ceremony at the City Hall; the whole thing lasted ten minutes. Then we had an evening with friends and family. By midnight, everyone went back home their stomach full and satisfied with the restaurant we chose.

As I am getting use to the silver color around my ring finger, a strange, fulfilling feeling came over me the next morning. I'm married! Really? Me? Married? No f'n' way. For the first time in my life, I feel I have a valuable, noteworthy relationship. For the first time, I feel I have a real partner, someone to live this adventure called Life with me (and I with her). For the first time, I feel she is my woman and I am her man, we are a team, and we will support each other through thick and thin, as clichéd as it may sound. I feel more powerful in my relationship, and in the world in general. The fact and the matter is, I am forever grateful to have such a powerful, confident woman by my side, who knows her self-worth.

Not only that, as I looked at the pictures of our special day, she is beautiful. Sooooooo beautiful. Man. I made it.

I am happy, confident, and powerful.

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frédéric Byé

EP3: Cooking, Traveling, Africans, An Alchemist’s Story…

Today Fred shares a story about the lesson he learned when he visited his family the first time in the Republic Of Gabon. This week's book review is about The Alchemist and what we can learn from this novel, also he gives you a glimpse of this Wednesday's conversation with Linda L.: How Cooking And Traveling Changed My World.

My Wish Came True, Then What...?

As I thought about this Monday's Podcast (available here) and the book review on Peter Buffet's "Life Is What You Make It: Find Your Own Path To Fulfillment," I thought about the notion of preparedness when I make a wish.

I worked hard to become a wrestler. I sacrificed time, money, and a lot of energy to make my dream come true. I went to Louisville, Kentucky, was successful, and then I injured my back that resulted in a herniated disk.

Back home, I leafed through the notes I wrote before I made the move to Kentucky and I was amazed at what I found. I realized my wish but I had not written about what would happen after that wish came true. In fact, I realized how I never prepared myself for success, I didn't prepare at all actually.

I believe my back injury was due to emotional pain rather than physical pain. The more I climbed the ranks, the more I realized the stakes were getting higher as well. The more competitive others became the more worried I became. It seemed that for some reason I didn't want it anymore. Somewhere in my mind, I was wishing to fail. Opportunities were knocking at a faster rate than I had expected, but I was unprepared. I was at the right place at the right time but I had not anticipated what came after.

The temptation to blame everyone else was high. I could have stayed bitter at the world for my whole life and take it out on those I love saying how they never supported me. Instinctively, I knew that kind of professional stiffness and stubbornness leads nowhere. It is often a mask for a limited mental or physical ability. I had the body but the mental was not ready yet. I had to dig my heels in, swallow the pill, and start all over again. Thank God I had the humility to do it.

Looking back, I learned an important life lesson: when you have real faith in something, you prepare for its success.

Life goes on after our wish comes true. What does it look like? What qualities will I need to keep growing after it happens? What do I need to prepare for? Will I have more responsibilities? Can I handle success? How will others react when I get to that level?

Following our passion is way more than wishing, it's taking action, failing, and standing back up.

We say that chance is preparedness meeting opportunity; I understand it better now. To me, success is personal growth and a plan.

With Purpose, Passion, and, Love

Frédéric Byé

Be Careful What I Wish For...

In some industries I worked in, putting happiness over money is a sign of weakness. In fact, that idea was so obsolete, people would mock you if you talked about personal development in a spiritual way. I've always tried to find the purpose in what I did. Sometimes it lead me to lonely places, other times it lead me to enjoyable ones.

King Midas story is timeless. The king who made the wish to turn everything into gold suddenly had his wish granted. He woke up the next day and as soon as he touched the table, it turned into gold. After jumping with excitement, he touched every furniture in his castle and they turned to gold. He became hungry so he ordered a plate to eat. As he touched his food, it turned to gold also. Scared to receive the same fate, his servants left the castle. Lonely, he called his daughter for comfort. As he hugged her, she too turned to gold. The king starved almost to death until he called the Gods to take his curse away.

What's the point? I don't want to have to chose happiness over money or vice-versa. Both blend perfectly together in my opinion.

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frédéric Byé

EP2- Following his passion: a wrestler's journey, Peter Buffet book review...

Podcast #2- Following his passion: a wrestler's journey, Peter Buffet book review...

This week's subject is about following our passion. Fred gives you a glimpse of this Wednesday's guest, JF Dubeau, graphic designer and author of The Life Engineered. This week's book review is from the son of the wealthiest man on Earth and he is also an Emmy-award winning musician.The life principles in this book will startle you. This week's life lesson is about a wrestler's recent death and what it taught him about life and passion.

Job Security VS Creativity

Since I can remember, I have a problem with hierarchy.

The traditional way of doing things implies going to school, having good grades, getting a job, and hopefully hold on to this job until you retire around 65 or 70 with a fat nest egg.

When you’re a teenager or young adult saying to your folks, “mom, dad, I won’t go to college…” it is like blasphemy in many families. There’s a stigma about not going to college and take another route. Even when we become wealthy, we cringe when someone asks us, “which college did you go to?” and you know the answer is, “none.” Often times, we hunch our backs, our shoulders slump, the one question we didn’t want to get asked, got asked, and often in front of others.

After all, having a degree means we’re intelligent, perseverant, it is the symbol of success and that now we go on and accomplish even more things.

Speaking out against going to school is the equivalent of speaking out against the church oftentimes, you might be lynched.

In my personal experience, I butted heads with my mother and step father when I told them I didn’t want to go to College. “You’ll regret it, you won’t feel like going back when you’re older”, “if you have a degree you’ll have job security, you’ll make more money, etc”, “In the field you want to go in many are called but few are chosen…” Etc…

I heard them all. I hated it. I still cringe when I think about those times. The truth is, even when I was broke I never regretted not attending college.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against college, I respect anyone going after what they truly want, whether he wants to be an engineer or a painter.

I just believe College isn’t for everybody.

Back then, without realizing it, I had chosen the path of creativity. The truth is I never wanted job security. I never wanted a job, period. I never wanted to work for money, I wanted to work because it stimulated me, because I had fun. Yes I want the money, it’s part of the equation, but it’s not the sole purpose of my work. From an early age, I knew job security wasn’t for me and I had no problem with that; others did though.

The book <<If you want to be rich and happy don’t go to school>> by Robert Kiyosaki, is one of my favorites. In it, he defined what I want in my professional life;

• To work when I want, with whom I want, and where I want.
• Achieving what I want without damaging myself, my family, or anyone else.
• Not having to work at anything I don’t want to.

And I should add: - Achieving my financial goals doing what I love and care about.

So many people without degrees walk around with an inferiority complex: “The reason I have this low-paying job is because I don’t have a degree,” is one sentence that seems to come up over and over again. My parents would agree, saying, “I told you so…”

I don’t.

Trust me, when I said that I wanted to be a writer practically no one told me, “Good! You’ll make a lot of money! Go for it!” But I didn’t care, this is what I wanted to do and I was going to do it, period.

Bottom line is, in my opinion, in this day and age opportunities are everywhere, and for those of us who are bored with school and who wish to explore other ways to make a living, I believe the doors are wide open. I truly believe that ANYONE with a little bit of drive, ambition, and self-esteem, can accomplish anything they want.

With Purpose, Passion, and Love,

Frédéric Byé

The Book Geek (audio): Author Ghaan Ima And The Art Of Writing

Ghaan Ima is a teen fiction writer and researcher with a fascinating life experience. In this entertaining and in-depth conversation, we will go into details about the day she lost her close relative and decided to leave her home country. Plus, she will share with us the impact writing and traveling had on her self-discovery as she moved to Canada. Finally, I’ll tell you why I am here and what this podcast is about.

The More I Fail the More I succeed

They say the more you fail the more you will succeed. At first, I didn’t understand that statement, it seemed illogical, counterproductive.

It became clear when I became a financial advisor. We had to call clients that had not heard of anyone for years, and we had “call evenings:” Every Monday from six to eight, we would sit down at the commune table, and call potential clients. They were “cold calls” to some extent.

Obviously, I would be met with grumpy people, some would hang up on me, many wouldn’t answer, and few would say, “yes let’s meet.” That’s when the lightbulb went on: It’s all about the law of averages. That’s right, it’s all a numbers game; that’s what success is.

If the average rate of getting appointments is 50 percent, then if I called ten people, I’d get five appointments, and five would say no. If I called twenty people, I’d get ten appointments and ten would say no. I failed ten times instead of five, but I got double the number of appointments!

That’s a major awakening, which I believe is a basic business principle business people use, and I am no exception.

With this principle alone we can predict our success or the amount of income we will get. It becomes logical, and when success becomes logical, the sky’s the limit. A kind of certainty instills itself in us, followed by an inner power taking hold of our spirit. Business becomes exciting, and money becomes a game, that’s all it is, a game.

If we look at the greatest businessmen and businesswomen in the world, they all talk about this principal. Donald Trump’s businesses declared bankruptcy four times, Sara Blakely mentioned how she lost count of how many times she got rejected.

Yet, failing is the reason many of us never even start anything, as though if we fail we’re exposed, we’re humiliated. I can relate to this because I sure felt it many times, but I know this too: guts always win. If you’re not afraid to fail, your chances of success increase dramatically, and what’s the best remedy against the fear of failure? Failing. Plain and simple.

Have some guts, show some courage for once in your life, try the venture you’ve always wanted and see what happens. Life is full of surprises.

Warren Buffet mentioned how putting off what we really want to do with our life is like putting off sex for our elderly years. Who really wants this?

Come on try this venture, failing never killed anyone. Just do it.

With Purpose, Passion, And Love,

Frédéric Byé